An Unlikely Holiday Application of Paul’s Wisdom

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

I don’t know about you, but this verse immediately brings the holiday season to my mind. No, it’s not reminiscent of the perfect baby-in-a-manger scene, but it is certainly applicable to my experiences with family at Christmas gatherings. Maybe not obviously so, but I see this verse as Paul’s reminder for us to choose joy… especially during this holiday season.

Paul says it himself, we all experience similar scenarios: those cringe-worthy moments when a relative makes an entirely inappropriate or offensive remark. For me, it’s almost always my German grandmother who seems to have no boundaries… and her accent makes everything seem ten times more harsh. Or it’s my younger brothers who feel that, now that they have an audience, the holidays are a good time to try out their witty insults. No matter who it’s coming from, I decide whether to bite my tongue or sling back an equally insulting retort.

Trust me, I’m the first to admit, I can come with some pretty nasty comments. I often joke that I “have no filter,” as if it’s cute or funny… But one of the biggest things I struggle with– especially around my family and during this time of year– is thinking before I speak and biting my tongue when I feel personally attacked. I do so much more damage than is necessary.

It’s tempting to forget the pain antagonizing comments cause and pridefully retaliate. The devil lures us to treat others as they have treated us, to abandon gentleness and compassion. And (from experience) when we respond to cruelty with more cruelty, we end up looking insensitive, impatient, or just mean.

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Proverbs 17:28

When I actively choose to be “wise,” saying something kind or nothing at all, I save others hurt and lowered self-worth. Living in a family who avidly practices what we call “tough love,” this can be such a challenge. However, I know God has not made it impossible for me. So lately, I’ve started practicing saying a prayer before or during situation where I may be put down. I pray that rather than giving others “a taste of their own medicine,” I choose to love them and show them the joy.

When I give it up to God, I am overwhelmed with patience and mercy for others. The Joy of the Lord triumphs pride, hurt, offense, and temptation.

It’s easy to say, “Joy to the world!” and acknowledge that the holidays are supposed to be a time of joy… But let’s get real. The busy and stressful holiday season often wears us out. Joy is not as simple as a Christmas carol or a holiday banner. Joy is a decision.

So when you’re faced with mud-slinging relatives, or just feeling bogged down from the holiday “hustle and bustle,” let’s just look to the words of Paul. Don’t be tempted to lash out. Remember that God won’t put you in a situation you are unequipped to handle (with love and joy). And “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

The Reason for the Season: An Issue of Trust? (Part 2)

So now that I’ve chastised society for giving the wrong gifts, too infrequently, with the wrong attitude, and to the wrong people, I’ll explain why I think we do all of these things. And how trusting God with everything can solve this.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Really think about that verse. Read it a few times over.

Now, let me ask you: When was the last time you truly lived by this verse?

For me, I can only name a few times I have let God guide every detail of a decision. Those were hard moments in my life. It’s hard to give up control, push aside emotions and instincts of my own, and step out of my comfort zone where I must cling to trust.

My favorite Hillsong song Oceans goes, “You called me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail… Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the water wherever you may call me.”

This song’s description of fully trusting Jesus is spot-on. Handing over comfort for whatever God may hand me is like stepping into a “great unknown where feet may fail.” Yep. It makes me nervous just to think about.

I think this is why we struggle with giving the way we are called to give. We have instead conformed to a worldly (and comfortable) standard of giving (explained in my previous post).

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Giving with joy and selflessness to “the hungry or thirsty or a stranger, needing clothes or sick or in prison (Matthew 25:44)” seems to me one of those “good and acceptable and perfect” wills of God that we, as Christians, are called to.

But, like I said, it’s hard. I get it. There are so many things holding us back: fear of these “kinds” of people, a lack of confidence in what we will say to them, not knowing where to go, not knowing what or how much to give. It’s true; we probably don’t have the answers to these questions off the top of our heads.

That’s where trusting God comes in.

I believe that when we trust God in this aspect of our life and genuinely say, “Here God, just show me what to do and I’ll do it,” the answers will come. God will expose us to security and peace and rewards we have never known. He will guide us where to go and who to give to, what to say to them and how to share God’s grace with them.

Is something still mentally holding you back? Maybe the biggest fear is losing our own personal comfort, specifically financial and material comfort, in place of giving to those in need. This might mean foregoing new things for yourself this Christmas, maybe it means losing a portion of your salary that you think you may need. Stop worrying.

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives,” writes Francis Chan in Crazy Love. 

God provides.

I think this issue of giving the wrong way during the holiday season has a simple solution. Trust God. Just do it.

Here’s my final challenge: Pray about how you can give this holiday season, actually listen to God and trust he will provide, then do it. Give to someone who needs food more than your friend needs socks this holiday season. Then try it again next month. Maybe try it a few other times this year, whenever you feel God tugging on your heart.

What you lose monetarily will be multiplied in God’s great spiritual rewards. I promise. And so does God.

“Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.” Proverbs 19:17

The Reason for the Season: An Issue of Trust? (Part 1)

The Christmas season. It’s here. Don’t deny it: you love the smells of gingerbread, pine needles, and peppermint candles; you can’t help yourself from flashing back to memories of sitting on Santa’s lap when you pass him at the mall; and you most certainly love the warmth that comes from watching your friends and family open the gifts you gave them. Cause giving is the reason for the season, right? I think so. BUT I think that we may be missing the entire picture and the true meaning of giving, due to an overall mistrust of God. Maybe these two ideas are far from going hand-in-hand to you. Mistrust of God and giving my friend a Christmas present… whaaa? I get it. I’ll explain my logic. 

The idea of giving during the holiday season for our society is entirely commercialized and temporary.

We have to find that perfect gift to meet that person’s personality perfectly, no matter the fortune we’re going to spend. AT&T, Target, Wal-Mart, Apple, you-name-it commercials advertise having “exactly what you need for every person on your list.” A new phone for the significant other; a pair of boots for mom; sunglasses for the best friend. And maybe you struggled this year to find exactly what (insert name here) wants, so you default to those typical stocking stuffers: lotions, candles, earphones, socks… things no one needs. 

We’ve also accepted the notion that this is the one and only time of year to give selflessly to those we love. Hmmm. What an interesting concept. Why is it only during the holidays that we want to give? Maybe it’s because we don’t want to at all; it has just because a norm, an obligation.

So what’s the point I’m getting at? 

1. Giving should not be an obligation. 

The simple fact that we feel pressed for time or stressed to find gifts for others to me seems to be an issue in itself. Giving should be done in joy. Paul reminds the church in Corinth, “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. ‘For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.'” (2 Corinthians 9:7) 

In my mind, an obligatory gift really isn’t a “gift” at all. Feeling obligated to give to another means that I must be feeling as if I owe that person something; the gift then really becomes a payment. But it boils down to the fact that no one deserves to be given anything, but that’s why we have the grace and love of God. We should be approaching giving the way Jesus died on the cross: joyful, sacrificial, and entirely selfless.   

2. Giving should not be temporary.

Tying in with the first point, giving should be done out of joy and selfless desire to help one another. If we are giving out of obligation, that probably means we aren’t doing it very frequently. Christmas presents once a year doesn’t cut it. When truly give out of joy, it will no longer be a chore and happen with ease and frequency. We will want to give.

3. We are giving to too few people and/or the wrong people. 

Like I mentioned before, the primarily receivers of our gifts tend to be our friends, our families, the ones we are closest to. And more than likely, we receive (maybe even expect) gifts in return.

Luke 14:12-14 says, “When you put on a luncheon or a banquet, don’t invite your friends, brothers, relatives, and rich neighbors. For they will invite you back, and that will be your only reward. Instead, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you.”  

It’s all in that verse. Give to those who can not repay you: the homeless, the sick, those who do not know your name or address or phone number. Not to say we shouldn’t be giving to our loved ones during the holidays, but to think that we will be rewarded in Heaven far beyond what we could receive on earth excites me. Jesus himself was homeless (Matthew 8:20), he hung out with the sick and the weak and the unwanted. He wants us to recognize those people and help them in His name, essentially we will be giving directly to Jesus and his posse. 

And beyond giving to the homeless and sick, we should try to give to someone who hasn’t been good to us this year. Bless those who will not love you back and maybe even hate you for giving to them. 

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” Romans 12:14

4. We are giving the wrong gifts. 

My final point: We probably shouldn’t be giving boots or sunglasses or iPhones at all. We definitely shouldn’t be giving lotions or candles or socks. Assuming that we are giving these luxury gifts probably means 1. the person we are giving to probably doesn’t need these things (and maybe already own them) and 2. we have the money to afford to give luxuries. This is a problem to me because it shows how stinkin’ rich we are. (Jesus said, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” in Mark 11:23) We aren’t meeting needs by giving such gifts! We are essentially exchanging wealth for more wealth, making ourselves slightly less (but in no way effectively) less wealthy and making our friends a little bit more wealthy, only to get a gift back from them and we’re exactly back where we started.

My challenge for you would to be: give what you need! You need food, water, shelter, love, encouragement, friendship. My second challenge would be to give it to those who need these things. It’s probably not your friends or family (who are likely the exact socioeconomic status as you). Maybe it’s the homeless guy on the corner by Target or the women and men in a half-way house downtown. Find those people. This is an extremely uncomfortable challenge because it requires you to give a little more than chunk change. It requires interaction, bravery, sacrifice, and trust. 

I’ve ranted a little too long… Tomorrow I’ll explain how this ties into the idea of trusting God. Stay posted! 

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